Learning to let go

At work, stress is something common. Yes? No? Well, maybe that depends on the nature of the job. Paling-paling koman pun stress dengan officemate yang sengal.

When I first found out I was preggers, I know I have to learn to let go. Let go in the sense that I won’t let stress affect my pregnancy in any way. I’ve seen and I’ve heard too many stories of miscarriages, pre-mature labours or pregnancy complications due to office stress. I pray to God please don’t let anything happen to my baby.

I hate it when I couldn’t help myself thinking about work when I go back home. When I yelled at IY for something silly he did like spilling his dinner on the floor. When I don’t feel like talking to Gee – not even smiling at his silly jokes. During my morning sickness phase, I let those things took over me. Then I realized, I can’t go on like this. I have to let go. Whatever happens in the office, stays in the office. When I go home, I’m not that career lady. At home, I’m a wife, a mommy. Gee needs his bestfriend his wife to talk to and IY needs his mama his clown to entertain him.

I notice lately IY is more clingy to his Ayah. He wants Gee to dukung him even when we have the stroller with us. He woke Gee in the middle of the night to make his milk. He wants Gee to do this, Gee to do that. His pick up line would be “Mama ada baby la Ayah, mama penat. Ayah takde baby dalam perut”. Mula2 memang tergelak dengar, suka sebab yeay Ayah kena buat. But deep down inside, sometimes I feel jealous when he’s more close to Gee than me. I know, silly me.

When my queasiness subsided, I learned to stay clam in situations of any possible stress I foresee coming . Get the job done and get over with it. No more yelling, no more nagging, no more over thinking of things. Just do what I’m paid for to do. If things go haywire, say sorry (if the mistake was mine) and rectify it. No need to go over the moon and back looking for what went wrong or who to blame. Buang masa je.

Well, that’s about work. What about the people stress? What about the annoying people in the office around me that makes me go grrrr!!! I learn to shut down on those kind of people. Talk to them only when I need to and minimize unnecessary contact.

I just want to have an easy pregnancy.

Ya Allah, please give me the strength and wisdom to handle everything good or bad that happens around me. Perkara yang baik itu datang dariMu, salurkan kan lah ke anak ini. Yang buruk itu datang dariku, jauhkan lah dari anak ini.





8 thoughts on “Learning to let go

  1. wow..touching phrase terakhir tu!

    pasal IY is clinging to Gee…it happens to me…mmg sedey..tapi i rasa my Hakeem nak cari lebih love dari papa (since mama bz dgn adik) …just imagine..bagi ubat pun nak papa..”mama bagi ubat tak sedap..papa bagi ubat..sedap..yummy”…hadap jelah…..

    • Tapi apa pun nothing beats mommy’s love kan? Now I’m trying to layan him as much as I can to compensate the morning sickness phase dulu.

      Haha, ubat sama je rasa – takde beza mama ke papa. IY pun kadang2 ngada2 nak Ayah, tapi Ayah soft hearted sgt lah..Mama ganas sikit baru ubat tu lepas masuk mulut..kena kepit2 wrestling bagai baru jalan.

    • Harap2 makbul la doa tu awak…

      Yes you can do it too..abaikan suara2 sumbang2 yang kacau kerja kita..janji kerja siap kerja jalannn.Beres!

      I’m still coping wak, belum boleh handle semua lagi..masih mencuba dan harap2 tak affect baby. Affect yang elok2 je..yg tak elok jangan terbawak2 ke baby ni.

  2. wait till the baby comes out… guilt! guilt! guilt! i can’t stop feeling guilty for not being able to FULLY be there for lyssa like before. kesian kat dia jugak sebab tetiba everything changes with the new baby kan…

    • Oh my, I don’t want to go there thinking about that yet.

      But yes, I think I need to be prepared that IY will not get the 100% attention anymore. I’m trying to think that we are not dividing the attention between the siblings, instead we are multiplying the love.

  3. Hmm… yes true, take it easy. Me.. I thought I never stress.. To me its just a work, but it was actually a stress, you dont even noticed it.. Tu la pasal tak leh nak lekat, but anyway, rezeki datang dari NYA.. Apa2 pun I bersyukur sekarang ni.. Amin to you.. Take care

    p/s: Kalau tak dah berderet dah anak I hehehe

    • Yang un noticed stress yang bahaya tu kan? I need to always remind myself not to be in denial when it comes to stress.

      Nways, thanks to you..I learned a lot. Amin kat you gak.. Make a lot of babies there ok?

      p/s gak: Yang berderet tu semua tgh tunggu you kat syurga. Amin.

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