The pain killer has worn off. I’m back to the crying and groaning in pain. Kesian Gee. He didn’t sleep a wink during those hours. Tertido duduk je waiting for me. Luckily the hospital has free wifi. Bawak laptop and he’s good to go. Kalau dia dok mengadap me in pain 24/7, I get stressed too. Stress sebab selalu kena tanya “Sakit ke?” For me, the pain management was better when hubby is “not” around. Bukan not around takde langsung, but not around in the sense that takde la dia duduk tepi kita setiap masa. Although maybe some mommies nak daddies around to hold hand and go through breathing techniques semua tu. Not me lah. Dulu maybe I thought I’m like that, tapi bila sampai the real situation, rupanya I prefer to focus on the pain and deal with it on my own. Tapi of course with his presence. He was there to get me water, suap makan or just sometimes just nak picit tangan dia kuat2 lepas geram. Haha!
Okayy back to the story.
At 2-3-ish am that Saturday, I asked if I can have the epidural. Dah tak tahan. They said okay since I was 2.5cm dilated and sent me to the labour room. Pasang drip segala and put me on BP machine all the time. The BP machine automatically did the reading every now & then. My BP was high throughout. At 4am, the anesthesiologist came to do the epidural procedure. The friendly Indian doctor came and explained the procedure to us. I wasn’t really paying attention coz I was in pain. The contraction was really strong masa tu. I had to sit and bend myself hugging a pillow. Gee was sitting in front of me and holding my hand. Then the big needle was inserted into my spine. Warghh!! Sangat perit..I squeezed Gee’s hand very very tight and I could see dia macam terkejut sebab kuat sangat kot. Sampai merah! Haha!
Lepas epi dah started to take effect, I felt the numbness kat kaki. The pain started to go away. And I could finally sleep. Of course Gee could sleep too. Kesejukan dia dalam labour room tu. Sampai nurse kesian tengok dia mengerekot atas sofa sleeping and offered him blanket. As for me, tak rasa sejuk pun, berpeluh2 lagi ada lah!
I opted for the lowest dosage of epi coz I still wanted to feel the urge to push. Tak nak lah sampai tak rasa apa2 and tak tau nak push. Dah la memang tak tau nak push. Main belasah je teran. I woke up around Subuh when Gee told me he wanted to have a shower and solat kat ward. Masa tu rasa penat tapi sakit tak rasa sangat. Still rasa kaki berat and kebas. Since I couldn’t move sebab the CTG was strapped around my belly, the BP machine pun strapped around my arm and the drips segala, Gee helped me to freshen up, wash my face, brush my teeth and have my breakfast. Then Dr S came in to check on me. I was 4cm dilated. She broke my waterbag and predicted I would be done by noon. She said I can start drinking my air selusuh now. Little did she know that my air selusuh dah habis dah semalam!
Noon came and I’m still 4-5cm…the pain has started to take up notch by notch. But the epi dosage remained the same. So there I was trying to find my dot – the one focal point where I can direct my pain to. But to no avail.
There’s one mommy in the room nearby kept screaming and groaning in pain. Boleh dengar sampai my room okeh? Her shouting was disturbing and scaring the hell out of me. I heard the nurses were rushing to her and I think I heard that she was already 7cm. Everytime she screamed, I had to tutup telinga. Gee pun tak kasi I dengar takut I jadi phobia nak beranak japgi. Scary okehh! Dia menjerit sakit tu bukan macam menangis sakit mintak simpati punya style, but more to like merengus and marah kind of jerit. I wonder if the hubby was there too. Habis la agaknye dikerjakan isteri yang sakit nak bersalin. Later I found out that she’s was a Russian who refused on epidural or any kind of pain relief (Yes, I’m nosy – dalam sakit pun boleh menyibuk..haha!)
Fast forward, I was fully dilated 10cm around 6pm. They switched off the epi machine. Dr S asked me to wait until I have the urge to push. For a good 1/2 hour I was on full swing of pain since there was no epi for me anymore. Altho the kebas kaki still terasa, the contractions were strong and Gee held my hand coaching me to focus on the feeling to push. I kept dozing off during the contraction free period and he was there to tepuk2 my pipi waking me up to focus. Suddenly, I felt the feeling of something coming out of me. Cepat2 tekan bell nurse, and yang kelakarnya, we heard the nurses & Dr S kat luar went “HAAA!! TU DIA!!”…Sempat la saya tergelak kejap.
They put me up on the stirups and taught me how to hold on to the hand lever to pull myself forward. Dr S told Gee to support my head and make sure that my chin touched my chest. I remembered there were 3 Indian nurses holding each of my thigh and coaching me to breathe and push, At first I had no idea how to do it. Tau teran je. When they say “curi nafas” I was thinking “curi nafas” tu apa?
After 2-3 sets of pushing, I finally learned the trick. The nurse showed me how to do it. We started with a 10 count then up to 15. And dia kira punya la slow. Kalau ikut kita nak kira laju2 je. Dr S kept motivating me saying that “dah nampak kepala dah ni mommy, rambut dah nampak ni”…pastu she asked Gee to come over to see it so that Gee could motivate me too. But I wasn’t listening much. Everything seemed so blur to me. I was focusing on my contractions so that I know when to push. Everytime I pushed, I looked at Dr S and the nurse to see their reactions to each other. If I wasn’t doing it right, I could see their eye contact “talking” to each other. When I’m doing it right, their face lit up and kept nodding at each other. In between the pushings, Dr S suruh I minum air. Memang macam marathon lah!
Finally, Dr S said to me “Puteri, come on you can do this. Nak tengok baby you tak? I kasi cermin nak?” I was like “Hah!!Errk!! Err…boleh la kot. Entah, tak tau”. One of the nurses took a big mirror (macam kat salon) and showed me down there. Dr S said “See how close you are. Sikit je lagi and it’s over.” I tried another set of pushing again…and voila…ZAYYAN UMAR is out!!!
And I cried. Alhamdulillah, he’s finally here.