Separation Anxiety

Z is already here. SEPARATION ANXIETY. Haih…the stage where all mommies kena “dera” dengan anak. Nak pegi toilet sesaat pun adalah seksa. Apatah lagi untuk business yang memerlukan lebih dari sesaat. Aduhh!! I bet all mommies (especially SAHM) feel me. I might be a little lucky Z does not cry when I leave him at the sitter everyday. At this one tiny stage, I’m kinda happy I’m not an SAHM. Dapat la pegi toilet dengan aman kat offce. Haha…mommy kejam.

I was chatting with an SAHM friend who is facing this stage with her 2-year old. Then she decided to send him to daycare for a couple of hours each day so that he can mingle around with other people than MOMMY. I see that she’s having a hard time for this first few days.

I just want to share what I read from the Treetop House’s Parent Handbook. It has a special section inside that explains about separation anxiety and how to overcome it. Below are the extracts:

Making goodbyes easier – Strategies to help ease children and parents go through separation anxiety.

1. Plan a separation plan with your new caregiver. Timing is everything.

2. Practice being apart from each other, and introduce new people and places gradually. Practice leaving your child with a caregiver for a short periods of time so that he or she can get used to being away from you.

3. Be calm and consistent. Create an exit ritual which you say a pleasant, loving and firm goodbye. Stay calm and show confidence in your child. Reassure your child that you’ll be back – and explain how long it will be until you return using concepts children will understand (such as after lunch/snack) because your child can’t yet understand time. Give your child the full attention when you say goodbye. When you’re leaving, mean it; coming back will only make things worse.

4. Follow through on promises. It is important to return when you have promised to. This is critical – this is how your child will develop the confidence that he/she can make it through the time apart. As hard as it may be to leave a child who’s screaming and crying for you, it’s important to have confidence in the caregiver’s ability to care for your child.

It’s only temporary. Remember this phase will pass.

Source: Treetop House Parent Handbook

The teacher even briefed me and Gee on the above during our surveying the kindy dulu. But luckily we didn’t have that much problem with IY since he is used to being away from us. Duduk kat taska since 1-year old really helped a lot during the schooling phase. However, I foresee I will have some drama moments with Z later when he goes to the daycare in July. But dunno lah, we’ll see how. Coz IY will be there too. He’ll have his big brother with him. So maybe not so much drama. Nevertheless the above strategies are useful for me later.

Tapi apa pun, doa and tawakal are the best tools. Kita berdoa anak kita dapat adapt to the new environment. Also kita tawakal that the caregiver akan jaga anak kita dengan baik while we are apart. Above all, kita berdoa and berserah that Allah akan lindungi anak kita selalu and also protects the place itself.

Good luck all!



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