Handling tantrums

In our case, it’s Mr Z’s tantrum.

Zayyan is now 2.9yo. Such a manja boy he is. But when he throws a tantrum, it doesn’t look pretty. Since we never had this kind of situation with IY, this a new learning curve for us as parents.

How do I describe Z’s melt down? Hmmm let’s see. He screams when he doesn’t get what he wants. Or if we don’t attend to him immediately. He doesn’t take “please wait” that well.

How do we deal with him? Certainly no spanking. Although I do “babab” my kids but only on the buttocks. I might scream and yell in the house when I’m angry ( which I’m reallyyyy not proud of and I know I need to improve on that), but no pukul. Anak bawah 6 tahun perlu dibelai. Bukan dipukul. If I get too angry or frustrated, I will just walk away. Calm myself first, istighfar banyak-banyak. Sebab masa kita tengah marah, syaitan berlumba-lumba datang cucuk jarum. Then, I’ll just keep quiet and stare at him. Stare with loving eyes not angry eyes. Eye level mesti sama dengan dia. Kalau dia baring, kita baring sama and look at him. With Zayyan, ignore strategy is the best tactic so far. At home, if he cries his eyes out or scream at the top of his lungs wanting what he wants, I’ll just walk away and ignore. Probably in an hour or so, senyap la dia. I pernah took pictures and videos of him crying. Marah betul dia but I did it anyway. And I played the video over and over showing him “haa tengok sapa tengah nangis dalam phone ni?”. He immediately stop crying!

In public, it’s tougher. Sebab mana boleh nak walk away je kan. Kena tebalkan muka dengan orang ramai. Just laugh it off sambil cakap sorry to the audience.

Zayyan once put up a show kat Labuan Airport. He wanted to ride on those RM5 for 5 minutes motorbikes pusing-pusing kat open area. The boys had one ride each. Then when it was time to go, he screamed bloody murder wanting more! I just picked him up and carried him away from the scene. God knows how much energy needed to do that. I just let him cry sambil peluk dia ketat-ketat. Later, he was still struggling and I just gave up. I passed him to Gee and went to the toilet to “walk away”.

Gee distracted him with things around the departure hall. Panjat tiang lah, bergayut kat railing lah, basically benda-benda yang dia suka and it worked! Phew! I came back and see a less tantrum boy. He requested for milk and doze off. Woke up half an hour later. Started crying again (but not screaming, just merengek) “Adik nak naik motor”. *sigh*. Halaahhhhh dia ingat balik. Again, Gee distracted him with food and the surroundings (luckily boleh nampak plane from the boarding area). Ada modal la si ayah nak melayan anak. So we found the formula. It is to distract him with other things that he likes. Although it is not easy, so far it works.

I find that working as a team with your partner is important. One parent will usually be the calmer one in each situation. Let the calmer parent handle the kid. Yang sorang lagi tengah mendidih, please go somewhere else. Well, if you are in the car, for example, memang tak boleh nak pegi mana kan. Just keep quiet and jangan masuk campur when the other parent is “working”. And of course, please support and complement each other. If your partner tengah naik angin, remind him/her to istighfar and sabar.

Dulu IY pernah tumpahkan vitagen atas sofa and I went crazy. Only when Gee said to me “Hey hey…it’s just vitagen. Awat marah anak sampai macam tu?”. Which is true. It’s.just.the.freaking.orange.flavoured.vitagen. *sigh*. I regret yelling at IY. Kesian dia. Mak meroyan tak tentu pasal. Sayang sofa ke sayang anak?

Last but not least, doa.

Doa supaya kita diberikan kesabaran in handling the kids. Doa supaya anak-anak lembut hati bila kita didik dia. Patience is virtue. Bila anak-anak tidur, usap kepala dia and tell them how much we love them and we want them to be a good boy/girl. Minda separuh sedar works wonders!

Thanks for reading. Although this article is actually a reminder to myself. Sebab I feel that I need to jot this down to read again in future.

More patience, less yelling. Watch that tone, mommy.

-Pu3-

2013 highlights

Let’s recap!

This year has been an eye opener for me. In so many ways. I think I have learned to look things quite differently. I learned to see people, situations and problems positively. Belajar bersangka baik is the most rewarding lesson for me. When I started joining the Instagram bandwagon, little did I know that I was going to get hooked! I enjoy following IGers who posts beautiful pictures from all over the world. Also love reading their quotes, stories and experiences through their posts. Totally inspiring.

This year we enrolled IY to Adni. I’m glad we made that decision. He has blossomed academically and spiritually. He loves school. Alhamdulillah we are blessed.

This year we had the chance to travel. Travel too, opened my eyes. It’s refreshing. As much as it was a challenge to travel with the kiddos, I am happy that the boys learn a lot of things through their journeys. I am looking forward to more travelling adventures with my family in 2014.

Not to forget, this year we had a baby and lost a baby. I had the best 6 weeks carrying him/her. I even had a Turkish name ready. Saja berangan. Hehe. I still think about it sometimes. Especially when I see a few of my friends who got pregnant almost the same time as I did. I couldn’t help wondering how big my tummy would have gotten if I was still pregnant. But oh well, I know Allah knows me well. This is for the best.

Tahun ini adalah tahun kucing. At least for us lah. Haha! Budet came into our lives early this year and since then we kinda became cat people. But without really having cats as pets. I am still scared of them but as long as they keep the distance, I’m okay.

I never mention about Oggy in this blog, have I? A few months back, we brought back a stray cat (we named him Oggy). He had a severe case of skin rash and dehydrated. We took him to the vet and he was cured. All the while we kept him in our backyard. Sangat manja selalu nak memboloskan diri masuk rumah but we never let him in. Pandai dia tak pegi mana-mana pun masa sakit tu. Makan tidur je kerjanya. Garang pulak tu tak kasi kucing lain datang nak makan food yang kitaorang serve. Padahal boleh je share kan? Cehh! During our UK trip, we weren’t worried of his survival ability since he was a stray cat. Pandai la cari makan sendiri kalau dah habis stock Friskies tu. We put a whole lot of cat food and a bowl of water under the porch before we left. That was the last we saw him. He never came back. Hubby sedih jugak and search for him but I guess jodoh kami dengan Oggy sampai situ sahaja. I hope he is well wherever he is right now.

Sekarang kucing-kucing lain kembali untuk makan the Friskies we put in our backyard everyday. Pandai je share takde gaduh-gaduh. Dulu semua takut dengan Oggy. Hehe.

So I guess all of the above would be my highlights of 2013. I hope next year will bring us more rezeki and happiness.

Wishing all my readers a happy 2014. Toodles!

-Pu3-

Krik krik krik

Where have I been?

Rasa dah lama tak jot down stuff here. Like really really jotting down. Dunno if there’s still people reading. Ada la kot nampak je kat stats tu sekerat dua masuk jengok. Oh thank you, you. Masih sudi membaca.

I think soon I will write love letters to my sons in my blog. IY is almost reading now. Yang simple-simple dia dah boleh grasps the sound of the word. Cannot tipu him anymore (hehe!). He even peeks on my sms/whatsapp these days. “Mama tulis apa tu ada nama abang situ?” MasyaAllah, how much he has grown. I am at the stage where I need to explain everything in detail now. With facts and concrete evidence. Tak leh main hentam belasah je.

Thanks to Adni, things are much easier for me. He has the basics from school and we at home will just elaborate. Sometimes I just underestimate him. For example, he came back one day talking about the sun, the planets and the universe. Something we don’t really borak kosong at home, kan?

So maybe if I write something for him or something about him here, he will read it. And I hope later over the years I will have an easy teenage-years parenting stage (Wishful thinking! Since when parenting is EASY? At any stage!).

On a different update, I went for my HPV vaccination. Went to see Dr Seri after my miscarriage. Had my first jab then. Going for the second one tomorrow. Final dose will be in 6 months in April 2014. I have always wanted to do it knowing that it is important to be vaccinated. Walaupun sakit demam tu kalau Allah nak kasi, Dia kasi jugak, still kita usaha dan tawakal. Before this masa IY asyik tangguh je. Then I became pregnant of Z. Then I had to wait until I was done with breastfeeding baru boleh pulak. See how long that was? Sudah 5 tahun woi!

A little bit jealous dengan my sister who got it for free at school. How come my time dulu takde dapat free pun? Oh well, when was that? Entah-entah they haven’t even invented the vaccine masa tu. Tua dah kita. It’s been ages since I last left high school.

On another unrelated update, we are going on another trip. To UK! Weehoo! Will blog about that later lah when we are back. I’m more relaxed this time compared to the Istanbul trip. Dah pro dah travel dengan budak-budak ni. Cewah! Not! Or maybe because we are familiar with the places and the weather. Hope the weather will do kind to us. Autumn/winter-ish should be okay. But never underestimate the British weather. Soooo unpredictable. You can have 4 seasons in one day! No kidding!

I’m not really into the trip, yet. Belum full swing mode lagi. Mainly because my mind is on Gee’s surgery. Selagi tak settle ops dia, selagi tu hati tak keruan. Appointment lagi 3 hari. Dup dap dup dap jantung ni.

So okay that’s all for now. Until my next update (which I hope won’t be THAT long).

Toodles!

-Pu3-

Confinement after miscarriage

It’s been a week plus and I’m feeling much better now — physically. Emotionally — ok la jugak..sesekali teringat kat dia and jenguk luar tingkap backyard bila rindu.

It never crossed my mind that I needed to berpantang after my miscarriage. Luckily, ramai yang mengingatkan. Fuhh sangat ramai. Although no need to pantang like a real mommy yang beranak, I followed a few pantang regimes yang make sense lah (to me at least!).

1. Rest – of course this is my no one priority. I just sleep whenever I feel like it (albeit the boys being noisy and bugging me wanting this and that). Daddy layan their needs. Thank you sayang.

2. Food and drinks – No ice no cold stuff rules. I eat almost macam biasa but still being picky.

3. Jamu – I am not a jamu person. Never makan jamu when I had IY and Z. Tapi this time I decided nak give it a try. Tapi tak beli la the whole set. Just the necessary ones from Nona Roguy.

4. Bengkung – My uterus dah start mengembang although I was only 6w carrying the baby. I no longer bf Z so I had no natural mechanism to shrink it. So I braced myself to this! Sapu the Pati Halia cream and lilit myself with the traditional bengkung yang panjang tu. Alternate la dengan PB girdle and waist nipper. It felt good walaupun agak susah nak gerak and jalan macam robot. Tapi takde la pakai all the time macam pantang betul. Amik syarat je la.

The rest semua macam biasa. My life goes on as usual. I didn’t confine myself dalam rumah nor did I pakai socks sweater all the time. I couldn’t bring myself to do that. Boleh jadi meroyan stress kot I buat macam tu! And being stressed is a total no-no for me. So far I’m planning to do all of the above for about 2 weeks. Cukup la tu kan?

I was back in the office working after 6 days. Work is a good distraction. I don’t think much of it anymore. But of course, my baby is in my doa all the time.

One thing I wanted to do tapi belum berkesempatan is a body massage. Dapat full package pun sedap nih! InsyaAllah will do it soon.

-Pu3-

8th year

We are 8 today! Happy Anniversary to us. I pray that this marriage will lead us closer to Allah. InsyaAllah. I love you sayang. Forever and ever.

And to mark our anniversary this year, we received a special gift. Love it!

p/s: Will blog more about this little surprise soon. Till then..Salam Ramadhan everyone!

-Pu3-

Keek!

I just joined another bandwagon–KEEK!

Hmm..let’s see what I could do with this–36 seconds video sure penuh dengan celoteh anak2 je ni. We shall see.

Follow me–I’m pu3natul (as always!)

Keek on IG

Keek-ing announcement on my IG

-Pu3-

Our chaotic week

IY and Z have been on and off the fever for the past week. Sejak cuti Hari Wilayah 1 Feb last week, IY’s temperature went up. As usual, the panic parents rushed him to the hospital ER. He was spiking a 39.7C. They gave him a sponge bath and insert the supp meds into his bottom to bring down the temp. We were there for almost 4 hours. Doctor did not release him until his temp turun.

After 3 days dia dah ok suddenly naik balik temp! Haiyohh! Pegi balik the hospital (sebab doctor pesan if 3 days demam tak kebah kena datang balik). Lastly, kena lah succumb to the antibiotics which we dreaded the most. His tekak sudah sangat merah and he’s refusing food and even his milk.

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Left: At home | Right: At the ER

Then Z pulak berjangkit! Uwaaa!! Kalau Z yang demam, mommy jadi zombie. Jaga abang is not so draining as compared to jaga adik. Adik tak pandai nak explain lagi what’s wrong. So dia¬† nangis and cranky je lah kerjanya. Mahu berdukung and mahu nenen saja. Bila dukung demand tak nak duduk pulak tuuu…mama kena jalan2 satu rumah.

Oh and in between, mama and ayah caught the flu bugs too!! 4 beranak tumbang back to back. Hoh! The house is a mess. The normal routine has gone haywire. I just can’t wait for everything to be okay and in order again.

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Z at the ER

Tomorrow we were supposed to spend our CNY long weekend kat Lost World of Tambun, Ipoh. Cancel lah nampaknye. Takpe lah, we postpone until semua sihat kay?

Cepat la sihat anak-anak!

-Pu3-

Online shopping for my skincare

I found this website where you can purchase your skincare, makeup, perfume and many more at discounted prices.

It’s here at Bestbuy World

What I love about this site is they sell it in miniature sizes as well. So boleh la beli untuk travelling. Kata nak pack light kan? The quest of finding ways to pack light never ends for this mommy.

The other reason why I suka beli kecik2 is because sometimes nak try test dulu if they suit you or not. Especially kalau nak test perfume for the first time. Kalau over the counter semua besar2 belaka! And I can shop in peace. No SA sibuk2 commenting how dull my skin looks and how I need to buy item A, item B and item C sekaligus kalau tak beli nanti tak kulit tak cantik tak berkesan la or so they say. Gawdd! They can be annoying sometimes!!

I just converted to SKII recently. But I tak beli semua sekali serentak. Kopak nanti babe! Went to Parkson SKII counter last week to purchase just the basic trial pack dulu (ada FT Essence and Moisturizer je). Then I tuntut ilmu dengan beautician tu on their ranges of product. Siap take notes atas brochure tu! Then balik rumah I logged on into this website pastu pick and choose apa yang I nak (and rajin pakai je). I ni pemalas nak pakai toner and segala in between serums la mask tu semua. Basic dah cukup. Tapi disebabkan malas nak explain kat SA tu tahap kemalasan I (nanti dia lecture panjang lebar pulak). So I iya kan saja masa menuntut ilmu tu.

Because sharing is caring. Of course I want you to benefit from this site too (if you haven’t known about it already). Let’s stock up!

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-Pu3-

The cat story

This is one story I want to remember.

I’m not a cat person. Like seriously. I penggeli. Bukan geli yuck! Tapi more like geli meremang bulu roma bila sentuh kucing or kucing lalu kat kaki. I look at cats but I don’t touch. That’s me.

So when I saw a very sick cat lying on my porch the other day ( 7 January 2013), I freaked out! The cat was weak and there were lalats dah start hurung dia. My first thought, “Oh my God! Gee lenyek ke?”. I knew the cat was still alive coz his tummy still naik turun (very slow tho). I hyperventilated and called Gee. He was on his way sending the kids to school and daycare. No way he was gonna make a U-turn just for this! Then I called my mom. Well, my mom is just like me! Takut kucing gak. I almost cried and was “talking” to the cat to hang on. Please don’t die. Please don’t die.

I called a friend tanya dia “camne nak pegang kucing?” LOL!! Yeah, I don’t know how! She told me to cubit the cat’s neck. So that’s what I did. But not with my bare hands tho. Lapik towel. Surprisingly, the cat was ringan. Masuk kan dalam box and my mom drove us to the nearest vet. Sempat¬† google kejap and found there’s one government vet near my house.

When I found him. Lying helplessly. Kesian.

When I found him. Lying helplessly. Kesian.

Arrived the vet and the nurses took the cat to the ER. Cewahh macam hospital orang je kan? Seriously, it felt like that. The nurse said no he wasn’t hit by a car (phew!). The cat was severely dehydrated je and might have some blood infection. They stabilized him. Put him on IV drip and gave him ubat itu ini. Fuhh, memang macam human patient.

At the clinic - they asked us apa nama kucing ni? We named him BUDET.

At the clinic – they asked us apa nama kucing ni? We named him BUDET.

Gee came over after sending the kids and we just don’t know what to do. Although I mentioned to the vet that this was a stray cat, still they asked us to bring him home if he gets better. Gee gave me the can-we-keep-him look. Errr…I don’t think so! But I didn’t say lah. I just said “tengok dulu”. Diplomatic eyh? Kah kah kah! Anyway, since the clinic was near, I went to the office ( I was already late!) and ask them to call me for updates. After a few hours, the clinic called asking us to take the cat to UPM. There’s a bigger vet facility there where they could run more tests and warded him. Whoaaa! Warded. Things just got real I thought. So off we went to UPM. I insisted on driving as I don’t want to handle the cat. Gee was watching over the cat in the box. Everytime he purr-ed, I got shivers. Seriau rasa macam la kucing tu nak terkam kita. Gee kept assuring me that the cat was too weak even to lift his head.

New Folder1

The hospital has 2 separate entrance – one for dogs only and the other for rest of the pets

We took a number and waited to be called. We managed to potong Q sebab the cat was too weak and critical. Dapat masuk and terus jumpa doctor. That was my first time ever watching a vet treat a cat. A whole new experience I must say. They took him away in the cage to the ward. I was kinda curious nak tengok how does a cat ward looks like though. The vet explained to me that the cat was seriously ill. They will run tests on him to see what’s wrong. His body temperature was too low (even the thermometre couldn’t get a reading). She told me the cat might not survive. Awww, suddenly I felt a lump in my throat. Kesian.

Inside the room

They put him in a cage and later to be transferred to the ward – this was the last I saw him

The next day, I got a call from the doctor. Budet just passed away that morning. Although it wasn’t an unexpected news (based on the doctor’s prediction and his condition), somehow I felt sad. Rasa kehilangan. Wow, imagine how cat lovers out there feel when their pets die. Lagi la sedih. Anyway, I asked the doc what went wrong. He said Budet was already nazak when he arrived. His red blood cells was only less than 10%. He was dying.

Dear Budet,

I’m sorry you didn’t make it. For some reason you chose my porch for help. And of all the cat lovers in the neighbourhood, you chose me – a girl who is afraid of cats. I hope I have done my best. I might not be very gentle with you in the process. Sorry if I caused you pain. You’ll suffer no more. Rest in peace, boy.

So that’s my cat story.

I'll always remember you boy

I’ll always remember you

-Pu3-

My 2012

Aizura posted an entry on her 2012. I thought it was a brilliant idea! I should recap my year too. And be thankful for it. Here are the highlights of my 2012.

January

*IY started going to school. A bit emotional moment for me – oh anak dah sekolah!

February

*IY was offically diaper-free (day and night).

March

*Dad’s quadruple bypass surgery.

April

*Hubby resigned from his job and took the challenge to turn his passion to a career.

May

*IY turned 4.
*Z was admitted. His first hospital stay. It was a month of risau written all over my face.

June

*Z turned 1.
*My bro’s wedding.
*Z was hospitalized again.

July

*Hectic! Double celeb aqiqah and double birthday bash.
*Things mellowed down when Ramadhan came along.

August

*Balik kampung for Aidilfitri.
*We met with a minor accident.

September

*Brother & wifey went to Cardiff.
*IY started his soccer school at the Goal Academy.

October

*The KK trip. Had a blast!
*I tendered my resignation serving 1 month notice. Sob sob!

November

*The Legoland and JPO trip. Pokai!
*Last day with the previous company. Sob sob sob! Sedih sangat.

December

*New job.
*Lost my dear uncle to cancer. Alfatihah.
*My baby sis scored straight A’s in PMR.

So there goes my year. With ups and downs, tears and laughter. It was sure a memorable one. I have a lot to be thankful for. Alhamdulillah.

Dear 2013, semoga umur panjang to go through another 12 months. Bring it on baybeh!

-Pu3-