Handling tantrums

In our case, it’s Mr Z’s tantrum.

Zayyan is now 2.9yo. Such a manja boy he is. But when he throws a tantrum, it doesn’t look pretty. Since we never had this kind of situation with IY, this a new learning curve for us as parents.

How do I describe Z’s melt down? Hmmm let’s see. He screams when he doesn’t get what he wants. Or if we don’t attend to him immediately. He doesn’t take “please wait” that well.

How do we deal with him? Certainly no spanking. Although I do “babab” my kids but only on the buttocks. I might scream and yell in the house when I’m angry ( which I’m reallyyyy not proud of and I know I need to improve on that), but no pukul. Anak bawah 6 tahun perlu dibelai. Bukan dipukul. If I get too angry or frustrated, I will just walk away. Calm myself first, istighfar banyak-banyak. Sebab masa kita tengah marah, syaitan berlumba-lumba datang cucuk jarum. Then, I’ll just keep quiet and stare at him. Stare with loving eyes not angry eyes. Eye level mesti sama dengan dia. Kalau dia baring, kita baring sama and look at him. With Zayyan, ignore strategy is the best tactic so far. At home, if he cries his eyes out or scream at the top of his lungs wanting what he wants, I’ll just walk away and ignore. Probably in an hour or so, senyap la dia. I pernah took pictures and videos of him crying. Marah betul dia but I did it anyway. And I played the video over and over showing him “haa tengok sapa tengah nangis dalam phone ni?”. He immediately stop crying!

In public, it’s tougher. Sebab mana boleh nak walk away je kan. Kena tebalkan muka dengan orang ramai. Just laugh it off sambil cakap sorry to the audience.

Zayyan once put up a show kat Labuan Airport. He wanted to ride on those RM5 for 5 minutes motorbikes pusing-pusing kat open area. The boys had one ride each. Then when it was time to go, he screamed bloody murder wanting more! I just picked him up and carried him away from the scene. God knows how much energy needed to do that. I just let him cry sambil peluk dia ketat-ketat. Later, he was still struggling and I just gave up. I passed him to Gee and went to the toilet to “walk away”.

Gee distracted him with things around the departure hall. Panjat tiang lah, bergayut kat railing lah, basically benda-benda yang dia suka and it worked! Phew! I came back and see a less tantrum boy. He requested for milk and doze off. Woke up half an hour later. Started crying again (but not screaming, just merengek) “Adik nak naik motor”. *sigh*. Halaahhhhh dia ingat balik. Again, Gee distracted him with food and the surroundings (luckily boleh nampak plane from the boarding area). Ada modal la si ayah nak melayan anak. So we found the formula. It is to distract him with other things that he likes. Although it is not easy, so far it works.

I find that working as a team with your partner is important. One parent will usually be the calmer one in each situation. Let the calmer parent handle the kid. Yang sorang lagi tengah mendidih, please go somewhere else. Well, if you are in the car, for example, memang tak boleh nak pegi mana kan. Just keep quiet and jangan masuk campur when the other parent is “working”. And of course, please support and complement each other. If your partner tengah naik angin, remind him/her to istighfar and sabar.

Dulu IY pernah tumpahkan vitagen atas sofa and I went crazy. Only when Gee said to me “Hey hey…it’s just vitagen. Awat marah anak sampai macam tu?”. Which is true. It’s.just.the.freaking.orange.flavoured.vitagen. *sigh*. I regret yelling at IY. Kesian dia. Mak meroyan tak tentu pasal. Sayang sofa ke sayang anak?

Last but not least, doa.

Doa supaya kita diberikan kesabaran in handling the kids. Doa supaya anak-anak lembut hati bila kita didik dia. Patience is virtue. Bila anak-anak tidur, usap kepala dia and tell them how much we love them and we want them to be a good boy/girl. Minda separuh sedar works wonders!

Thanks for reading. Although this article is actually a reminder to myself. Sebab I feel that I need to jot this down to read again in future.

More patience, less yelling. Watch that tone, mommy.

-Pu3-

2013 highlights

Let’s recap!

This year has been an eye opener for me. In so many ways. I think I have learned to look things quite differently. I learned to see people, situations and problems positively. Belajar bersangka baik is the most rewarding lesson for me. When I started joining the Instagram bandwagon, little did I know that I was going to get hooked! I enjoy following IGers who posts beautiful pictures from all over the world. Also love reading their quotes, stories and experiences through their posts. Totally inspiring.

This year we enrolled IY to Adni. I’m glad we made that decision. He has blossomed academically and spiritually. He loves school. Alhamdulillah we are blessed.

This year we had the chance to travel. Travel too, opened my eyes. It’s refreshing. As much as it was a challenge to travel with the kiddos, I am happy that the boys learn a lot of things through their journeys. I am looking forward to more travelling adventures with my family in 2014.

Not to forget, this year we had a baby and lost a baby. I had the best 6 weeks carrying him/her. I even had a Turkish name ready. Saja berangan. Hehe. I still think about it sometimes. Especially when I see a few of my friends who got pregnant almost the same time as I did. I couldn’t help wondering how big my tummy would have gotten if I was still pregnant. But oh well, I know Allah knows me well. This is for the best.

Tahun ini adalah tahun kucing. At least for us lah. Haha! Budet came into our lives early this year and since then we kinda became cat people. But without really having cats as pets. I am still scared of them but as long as they keep the distance, I’m okay.

I never mention about Oggy in this blog, have I? A few months back, we brought back a stray cat (we named him Oggy). He had a severe case of skin rash and dehydrated. We took him to the vet and he was cured. All the while we kept him in our backyard. Sangat manja selalu nak memboloskan diri masuk rumah but we never let him in. Pandai dia tak pegi mana-mana pun masa sakit tu. Makan tidur je kerjanya. Garang pulak tu tak kasi kucing lain datang nak makan food yang kitaorang serve. Padahal boleh je share kan? Cehh! During our UK trip, we weren’t worried of his survival ability since he was a stray cat. Pandai la cari makan sendiri kalau dah habis stock Friskies tu. We put a whole lot of cat food and a bowl of water under the porch before we left. That was the last we saw him. He never came back. Hubby sedih jugak and search for him but I guess jodoh kami dengan Oggy sampai situ sahaja. I hope he is well wherever he is right now.

Sekarang kucing-kucing lain kembali untuk makan the Friskies we put in our backyard everyday. Pandai je share takde gaduh-gaduh. Dulu semua takut dengan Oggy. Hehe.

So I guess all of the above would be my highlights of 2013. I hope next year will bring us more rezeki and happiness.

Wishing all my readers a happy 2014. Toodles!

-Pu3-

The cat story

This is one story I want to remember.

I’m not a cat person. Like seriously. I penggeli. Bukan geli yuck! Tapi more like geli meremang bulu roma bila sentuh kucing or kucing lalu kat kaki. I look at cats but I don’t touch. That’s me.

So when I saw a very sick cat lying on my porch the other day ( 7 January 2013), I freaked out! The cat was weak and there were lalats dah start hurung dia. My first thought, “Oh my God! Gee lenyek ke?”. I knew the cat was still alive coz his tummy still naik turun (very slow tho). I hyperventilated and called Gee. He was on his way sending the kids to school and daycare. No way he was gonna make a U-turn just for this! Then I called my mom. Well, my mom is just like me! Takut kucing gak. I almost cried and was “talking” to the cat to hang on. Please don’t die. Please don’t die.

I called a friend tanya dia “camne nak pegang kucing?” LOL!! Yeah, I don’t know how! She told me to cubit the cat’s neck. So that’s what I did. But not with my bare hands tho. Lapik towel. Surprisingly, the cat was ringan. Masuk kan dalam box and my mom drove us to the nearest vet. Sempat  google kejap and found there’s one government vet near my house.

When I found him. Lying helplessly. Kesian.

When I found him. Lying helplessly. Kesian.

Arrived the vet and the nurses took the cat to the ER. Cewahh macam hospital orang je kan? Seriously, it felt like that. The nurse said no he wasn’t hit by a car (phew!). The cat was severely dehydrated je and might have some blood infection. They stabilized him. Put him on IV drip and gave him ubat itu ini. Fuhh, memang macam human patient.

At the clinic - they asked us apa nama kucing ni? We named him BUDET.

At the clinic – they asked us apa nama kucing ni? We named him BUDET.

Gee came over after sending the kids and we just don’t know what to do. Although I mentioned to the vet that this was a stray cat, still they asked us to bring him home if he gets better. Gee gave me the can-we-keep-him look. Errr…I don’t think so! But I didn’t say lah. I just said “tengok dulu”. Diplomatic eyh? Kah kah kah! Anyway, since the clinic was near, I went to the office ( I was already late!) and ask them to call me for updates. After a few hours, the clinic called asking us to take the cat to UPM. There’s a bigger vet facility there where they could run more tests and warded him. Whoaaa! Warded. Things just got real I thought. So off we went to UPM. I insisted on driving as I don’t want to handle the cat. Gee was watching over the cat in the box. Everytime he purr-ed, I got shivers. Seriau rasa macam la kucing tu nak terkam kita. Gee kept assuring me that the cat was too weak even to lift his head.

New Folder1

The hospital has 2 separate entrance – one for dogs only and the other for rest of the pets

We took a number and waited to be called. We managed to potong Q sebab the cat was too weak and critical. Dapat masuk and terus jumpa doctor. That was my first time ever watching a vet treat a cat. A whole new experience I must say. They took him away in the cage to the ward. I was kinda curious nak tengok how does a cat ward looks like though. The vet explained to me that the cat was seriously ill. They will run tests on him to see what’s wrong. His body temperature was too low (even the thermometre couldn’t get a reading). She told me the cat might not survive. Awww, suddenly I felt a lump in my throat. Kesian.

Inside the room

They put him in a cage and later to be transferred to the ward – this was the last I saw him

The next day, I got a call from the doctor. Budet just passed away that morning. Although it wasn’t an unexpected news (based on the doctor’s prediction and his condition), somehow I felt sad. Rasa kehilangan. Wow, imagine how cat lovers out there feel when their pets die. Lagi la sedih. Anyway, I asked the doc what went wrong. He said Budet was already nazak when he arrived. His red blood cells was only less than 10%. He was dying.

Dear Budet,

I’m sorry you didn’t make it. For some reason you chose my porch for help. And of all the cat lovers in the neighbourhood, you chose me – a girl who is afraid of cats. I hope I have done my best. I might not be very gentle with you in the process. Sorry if I caused you pain. You’ll suffer no more. Rest in peace, boy.

So that’s my cat story.

I'll always remember you boy

I’ll always remember you

-Pu3-

My 2012

Aizura posted an entry on her 2012. I thought it was a brilliant idea! I should recap my year too. And be thankful for it. Here are the highlights of my 2012.

January

*IY started going to school. A bit emotional moment for me – oh anak dah sekolah!

February

*IY was offically diaper-free (day and night).

March

*Dad’s quadruple bypass surgery.

April

*Hubby resigned from his job and took the challenge to turn his passion to a career.

May

*IY turned 4.
*Z was admitted. His first hospital stay. It was a month of risau written all over my face.

June

*Z turned 1.
*My bro’s wedding.
*Z was hospitalized again.

July

*Hectic! Double celeb aqiqah and double birthday bash.
*Things mellowed down when Ramadhan came along.

August

*Balik kampung for Aidilfitri.
*We met with a minor accident.

September

*Brother & wifey went to Cardiff.
*IY started his soccer school at the Goal Academy.

October

*The KK trip. Had a blast!
*I tendered my resignation serving 1 month notice. Sob sob!

November

*The Legoland and JPO trip. Pokai!
*Last day with the previous company. Sob sob sob! Sedih sangat.

December

*New job.
*Lost my dear uncle to cancer. Alfatihah.
*My baby sis scored straight A’s in PMR.

So there goes my year. With ups and downs, tears and laughter. It was sure a memorable one. I have a lot to be thankful for. Alhamdulillah.

Dear 2013, semoga umur panjang to go through another 12 months. Bring it on baybeh!

-Pu3-

Saying goodbye is never easy

Today is my last day at the current office.

I’m never good at goodbyes. Truth is, I hate goodbyes. It’s always “I’ll see you later.” Or “until we meet again.” With Allah’s willing of course.

This company has a special place in my heart. For those who know me personally, you should know what I mean. I grew up with this company. Dad started this company in 1990. I was in Standard 4. I remember vividly coming to dad’s office after school. I remember clearly spending my uni semester breaks doing filing and data entry at the finance department. When I started my career, it’s funny at first when I have to address dad’s staff from Uncle X to Encik X or when they started calling me by my first name instead of my nickname coz we became colleagues.

When dad retired after his bypass surgery, I always thought I have to hold on. The need to hang on. For memory sake. For legacy sake. But God has better a plan for us. So I guess it is time to move on.

I’ll miss my colleagues the most. We are like family. And of course I’ll miss this office – this location. We had a great time working here. All of us will miss this place so dearly.

Goodbye T! I hope I have served you well. Like I said, until we meet again – at AGM. I may not be your employee, but I’m still your shareholder! LOL!

-Pu3-

The big move

Work update?

The new bosses have decided that the office is moving. Unfortunately, the new address is a major problem for me. The distance, the traffic, the parking space. I can already imagine me being stressed in the car for hours. No, leaving the house before the sun rises and leaving the office after the sun sets is not an option for me. I don’t wanna come home to my sleeping babies. That’s not me.

For the past few months I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Then came the big decision – I resigned. People may not understand why. Well, they don’t have to. But just for the record – because my family comes first. Nothing else matters.

-Pu3-

RE: Are you ready to become a parent?

I was laughing my ass off reading this entry from Hanafedora’s blog. Kelakar sangat! As a mother of 2 (boys!) I can sooo relate to this. I think now I can laugh it off whenever IY or Z drive me crazy. *note to abang & adik if you are reading this in the future: mama sayang tau!but yes you drive me insane sometimes*

Have a read and see if you can laugh like I did. Well, if you don’t, hey where’s your sense of humour? Read it with an open heart ok? Jangan sensitive pulak!

There’s this blog post that has gone viral in the UK. It about a test. A candid new parent test highlighting the high and lows of motherhood. 14 steps to follow before you have children. It was posted by anonymous blogger but it was so famous it got into yesterday’s daily mail.

I simply thought the test is super hilarious and it resonates with all mothers. Especially the going to groceries with a goat part. And for Fairuz, the octopus in a bag hit close to home. The tongue-in-cheek test says if you pass then you’re ready to become parents. Are you ready?

P/S: These test is not to offend anyone. It’s just for a laugh and you really do need a sense of humour to become a parent.

Test 1: Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2: Knowledge 

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.

Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3: Nights 

To discover how the nights will feel
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 – 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.

Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4: Dressing Small Children 

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.

Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5: Cars 

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6: Going For a Walk 

1. Wait.
2. Go out the front door.
3. Come back in again.
4. Go out.
5. Come back in again.
6. Go out again.
7. Walk down the front path.
8. Walk back up it.
9. Walk down it again.
10. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps.
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you. 14. Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7: Conversations with children  

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8: Grocery Shopping 

1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child – a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old 

1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10: TV 

1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11: Mess Can you stand the mess children make? 

To find out:

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room & leave them there.

Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers 

1. Make a recording of someone shouting ‘Mummy’ repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each ‘Mummy’. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13: Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.

You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14: Getting ready for work 

1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!

And this is a picture I saw from ThePinkStilettos’s instagram. This made me smile too.

LOL

-Pu3-

32

Today I turn 32.

Alhamdulillah I’m still here. Praying I will still be here to see 33 and the days to come. To see my boys grow up and to grow old with my Gee.

On a similar note, thanks Mama. My birthdays will always be about my mama. Not me. She deserves all the credit in the world. Beranak adalah sangat sakit.

Oh I’ll be back with our Raya stories. Stay tuned.

-Birthday Girl-

The house is ready

We bought this house last year. And now it is ready. Went for the keys handover and we were very much excited to see the completed unit.

Persoalannya, are we moving in? Jawapannye, maybe not.

I see the house as an investment now. Why the change of mind? Entah. Just woke up one day and decided, let’s sell it. But not now. We are waiting for the right price and right time. Playing the wait and see game now.

Tapi layan je la pictures kan..mana tau I have a prospect buyer reading my blog. Who knows? Email me ;)!

Front view

Porch

Hall

Wet kitchen

Stairs leading up

Upstairs

Master bedroom

The neighbourhood

Location – Laville behind Jusco AEON Cheras Selatan.

-Pu3-